Monday, April 27, 2009
Hello again to all the followers of my relatively unknown yet highly unpredictable blog about myself. Lol
This week begins the final stretch of classes, assignments, and the ever so dreaded FINAL EXAMS before the 3 month summer break
I am sooooooooooooooooo not looking forward to the summer. Im not even looking forward to tomorrow. I have so many assignments i need to catch up on, I have so many unread chapters in my still virtually untouched text books that require studying and review before exams begin. I pretty much have to get A's or B's on all my exams...
Except for my vocal lessons, i think im doing pretty good in that... lol
I wish there was a grade for determination and drive. I wish GPA reflected how effectively someone was working towards their career and goals. Id have a 3.4 easily lol. (You like how i graded myself, huh).
Some people spend all semester nose-deep in their textbooks and dont get a chance to use college for what it is, a maturing process. Now im not knockin anybody on their grade point hustle or academic goals. I just think its important to make a balance. Because when I graduate, I would personally hate to look back and say "OMG i wish i had've enjoyed those years more or utilized the college experience for what it was."
With that being said, I know I have NOOO balance. Im the total opposite of the book worm, teachers pet. Im a professors worse nightmare lol. But at the same time, Im gaining so much just about life in general from taking advantage of college. Im forever thankful for my full scholarship to Belmont because its allowed me to really branch out and discover things about myself and life.
Given that, I still do have obligations to make grades, like I mentioned in my last blog post. And thats where I fall short. So thats why these last couple of weeks are gonna be hell (and Im not just talkin about the weather... cuz it is hell outside).
So these last few weeks will make or break me. Actually why lie. I dont even think its that crucial. Even if i did flunk a class or didnt get the grades I desire, life goes on. Im not gonna get kicked out of school, its not the end of the world. Im not worried. I just need some of that good ole academic discipline to kick in like NOW... especially if i plan on not getting any messages, letters, or restrictions from the admissions and financial aid office AGAIN. They really are my college parole officers. They step in to make sure im not f****n up pretty much. Annoying? YES. But also understandable. They just care about a nigga succeedin and stuuuuuf.
ANYWAY, in other news, The Belmont Best of The Best showcase was AMAZING on saturday. Ok, im lying, I was amazing lol I didnt see any of the other acts, so thats not me being cocky, just me being honest. I cant comment on the other acts but Im sure they were good as well because after all we all do represent the best that Belmont University has to offer.
My band did a great job of pulling our show together literally in the week of the show, with 3 rehearsals last week. So Kudos to the Freshness League. Everybody loved it. I just wish people could have come up to the stage to get hype with me like at the Urban/Pop showcase last fall. But oh well, it was still a great show. Overall I was quite pleased. Just kinda wish my shirt fit better hahaha. IM BOUT TO BE ON THAT WORKOUT, NIGGAZ! Footage from the show coming soon.
In conclusion, just pray for me yall. I really need to dig deep for this discipline to so well academically. Cuz if you have been following my blog then u really know I dont care the slightest bit. I talked with my cousin on facebook last week. He is graduating and said he has senioritis. Thats understandable. But me?? I have kanye-itis. Thats the college dropout syndrome... But then again I refuse to drop out of college, especially with no back up plan. But it seems like a more attractive option everyday
Labels: belmont university, kanye west, summer
| 12:31 PM
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I really want to leave the U.S.
Not just Nashville, not just the south. I want to leave this country
I want to learn, grow, gain experience, observe cultures, be influenced by things other than what I am now. In my song "Product Of The Game" i talk about how I am a product of all my influences, whether it be my favorite artists, producers, people, mentors, places I've lived, media, etc. All of that has made me who I am today. But I want more. I want to grow more. I want more life experiences, a change of setting, people, culture, etc. In the end it is all reflected in who I am. And I want to be more culturally rounded.
I feel sheltered here in Nashville. Same university routine. Same church. Same venues. Same short weekends. Same emotions over and over again. Now dont get me wrong, this has all developed for me a feeling of comfort and peace when I think about Nashville. You know, "click your heels together 3 times"-type feeling. This is my home. Everything is ok here. But the thing about it is, I'm in control. I have conquered my current environment. People like me, Im the man on campus, Ive played literally every venue in town a bagillion times. I dont want to be in control anymore. I thought I wanted to. I thought I wanted to be so in control of my surroundings that only I could affect the end outcome. So i finally have acheived that.
Nashville has nothing left to offer me that will allow me to grow mentally, spiritually, even musically. I see the same artists, doing their same styles as they have been the past 10 years. I dont want to get stuck in a genre. For those who have The Sci Fly EP
im sure u realize that now. I refuse to get stuck in any type of box. And Im ready to not be in control of my life. Throw me a surprise. I want more disappointment. I want a reason to work harder, to feel like I am challenged. I dont feel challenged here. I know im the best at what i do, in a 500 mile radius atleast hahaha (excuse my cockiness). But i want to feel inferior. I want to go someplace that I dont belong. Cuz i fit right in here. And i dont mean that I fit in the crowd, i just mean that I fit into the social puzzle here. I am apart of this place. I dont want to belong anymore. I want to be a social outcast somewhere. I want to start at the bottom like I did in Nashville and work my way all the way up just like I did here. Actually, its more than a want or desire. Its a need. I feel it in my gut, soul, spirit, whatever. If I dont get out this place and go somewhere Im not gonna get anywhere in life, music, im not gonna achieve what I want in life. I could stay in Nashville. Network with the same label ppl, do the same shows, same songs, blah blah blah. If i leave Nashville, trust me I wont miss anything. Back to my song, I am a product of my surroundings. And as of right now, my surroundings have produced nothing new in a long time.
Imagine trying to learn about life from the people that are at the same level or lower than you. Or like asking a virgin for advice about sex. They can tell you whatever but at the end of the day you know what they say isnt gonna help you period. And thats how I feel about people here. Ive grasped and gleaned from them all I can. Its time I do my own discovering.
I wanna go abroad. Study abroad I guess. I have to say "study abroad" for an excuse to reasonably
go out of the country. Hahaha yall already know how much I hate school. But If it gets me out of the country I guess i might just have to stick it out.
I really wanna go to the UK. London perhaps. Eventually China and even Japan. But 1st, the UK. Why? Well, mainly the music. UK is always ahead of the US in music. Often times the entire world is ahead of the US. Anybody watch the Grammys this past year? Did you notice how majority of the winners had English accents???!! SERIOUSLY!! From Coldplay to Adele, even some of the presenters like Duffy. My whole life I have relied on the US Billboard charts, radio, and MTV to pre-determine for me what is the best pop music in the world. But actually, I have just recently came to the realization that Ive been missing soooo much. Alot of international hits never hit American airwaves, and regular citizens like me never hear about them. And when u think about it, America is one freakin country. It feels so big. But its only 50 freakin states. My whole life Ive glorified the idea of conquering US
My entire EP was a product of international artists: M.I.A., Calvin Harris, Dizzee Rascall, Justice, and even Drake (does Canada count, eh? lol). So theres no point in me forcing myself to just keep tryna make music here and get ppl to catch on. Cuz the direction that Im going musically and mentally, is sooooo far removed from Nashville, the south, rap, America period. I need some place that I can grow, be so immersed in a completely different culture and lifestyle that I cant help but be influenced and pick up things....
I always say that I am bigger than Hip Hop, bigger than any genre. I always talk about how my music appeals to the masses and any crowd. But thats really not ever gonna be true if Im stuck in Nashville and can never experience those other crowds
. My personal growth will be limited, and I will never reach my full potential. I want it all. A little bit of everything. And ive had my fair share of Nashville. I wanna take it to the extreme now. I want to go to London.
The plan is Spring or Summer 2010. Peace out niggaz
Check out this song by Dizzee Rascall, Chrome, and Calvin Harris that was #1 last summer in the UK and Australia I think. Have u ever heard it? I didnt either til a few weeks ago. Thats still so crazy to me.Dance Wiv Me (radio mix) - Dizzee Rascal featuring Calvin Harris and Chrome
Labels: calvin harris, dizzee rascal, london, nashville, study abroad, the sci fly ep, UK
| 6:11 PM
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I havent had a chance to blog in a very long time. I apologize, not to readers, but myself. Only because I made a promise to post something atleast every other day.
I love bloggin for the fact im able to be completely frank, honest, and blunt. I dont have to sugarcoat anything. In fact I wont. And as of lately Ive been blogging alot about my own life and myself, unlike the topics, people, news, and etc that I used to focus my posts on. Since I began blogging back in February, I have just found my niche in talking about my life. And thats what I think this blog best serves the purpose of, keeping people informed about my life. Who is reading and who actually cares? Idk. I dont care either tho. Cuz one day they will. One day ppl will be on google searching for all this personal crap about me and how I got to where I am, and they'll look in the archives of this blog and read all about it lol. This is for them. So the return of my blog recent blog posts begin with yet another update about ME.
1. Im flunking my intellectual property class. I expected this. But its just more shocking to read a bold red "SEE ME AFTER CLASS" note on my latest flunked test. Its a wake up call. Are my priorities out of order? Not really
. No one can outline another person's priorities BUT that specific person. You cant look at me and say, "Harold, school is your number one priority." Do you live my life? Do you know my goals, dreams, daily thoughts, aspirations, motivation? Has God given showed you the vision for MY life? No. Highly unlikely. So its wrong to make assumptions. School is a priority i guess. But a very low one. Since I came to college I always knew I was using it for the opportunities. Ive been able to network, grow as an artist, gain fans, friends, etc from being at Belmont. But my remaining here depends on me attaining the grades to continue each semester. So THAT is the only reason why school is a priority. With that being said, I have to re-evaluate my time management near the last few weeks of classes to ensure that I can pass and not have to repeat this class, or even worse, lose my scholarship...AGAIN!!! AHHHH!!!
2. I gained weight. LOL but for real im like mad about this. I worked EXTRA hard to lose 60 lbs, and not even a year since I started gettin serious about my weight, I've already started gaining it back. Yesterday was the 1st time Ive been in the gym for sooooo long. I literally cannot remember. It was maybe Feb sometime. Idk. Its been a while. I slowly slipped back into my old eating habits back around Christmas and now its obvious. I have no doubt I can drop even more weight than I did the first time, I just have to get back in the right mindset. And I finally am. So consider this summer to be the re-transformation period lol. But still, its the most depressing feeling to be fat, then achieve your target weight, get compliments everywhere u go, start wearing clothes you could never fit, etc etc.... then all of a sudden start gaining it back. Its like a nightmare in slow motion lol. I refuse to get back to the weight where I was at previously so today is DAY TWO of the re-transformation period hahaha. The treadmill SHALL be ran again today lol.
3. I have no concrete summer plans. Summer is roughly 3 weeks away for me. And i havent the slightest idea what I will be doing from mid May to mid August. Thats a quite scary feeling. I DO NOT WANT A REGULAR SUMMER JOB!!! NOOOOOO. Im not going back to Target. I'm not even GONNA apply at all those stores in the mall again. Last summer was HELL! I worked for Terminix pest control doin door to door sales. CRAP. Finish Line shoe store. CRAP. (but i got a pretty good discount on kicks). Target wasn't as bad. But it was still not the ideal summer situation. Im not spoiled. Im just real. And the real honest truth is, I hate stupid jobs. I hate huge corporations and their thousands of meaningless stores/offices all over the world or maybe just the US, with their hundred thousands of employees, and virtually powerless mid level managers that run the stores/businesses. The process is repulsive to me. I dont wanna work my way up in the company. I just want money. I will learn nothing from you. This will not help me in anyway, unless you count learning to deal with my anger lol. I will not even mention you on my resume. I dont wanna be the employee of the month. No I dont want the extra hours. Dont call me when you need someone to fill in. I am NOT concerned with doing the best I can on the job. So in actuality, it is a waste of time. Yes its true i will get paid, but i am not willing to trade money for my happiness.
And dont for once think Im not a disciplined person and that i dont make sacrifices. Ive worked my butt off at pointless jobs since middle school. Im sick of it. Id be much happier at home making music. I have food stamps, I will survive. Just give me a room in my parents house, and i bet you at the end of the summer i will have a compilation of the sickest songs ive ever produced, written, and recorded. I no sound like a baby throwing a tantrum, but the truth is..... I AM. THIS IS A TANTRUM!! I HATE WORKING STUPID JOBS AND I WONT LET IT RUIN MY SUMMER! These random stupid summer jobs are like awful filler tracks on a potentially great album. My life is ALMOST great... but here comes this retarded cashier job messin it all up hahaha
ANYWAY, I need to get back to work. Hahaha yes thats right, Im typing this while Im at work. Now thats a real nigga for you. I dont hate this job, because its easy and I can actually do stuff other than work while Im here lol. But still, the fact remains.
These are just my random thoughts and the update on my life since I last posted a blog. Oh, the mixtape download have stalled around 500. So i only got half of my goal. I need a way to promote it more, another avenue. Any ideas??
And the Belmont University Best Of The Best competition is this Saturday. I am NOT ready yet. Mentally, Im PSYCHED! But the band doesnt know all the songs and our set is not fully complete. But its ok, Saturday at 7 o clock, when the lights go down, trust me, we'll be ready.
Labels: belmont university, best of the best, employment
| 2:20 PM
Thursday, April 16, 2009
This is the first blog from my phone, so here goes....
So far the dwnloads for the ep are slower than expected but atleast they are still flowing pretty steady. I roughly get about 100 a day..... I need closer to a thousand a day! But ppl will catch on soon enuff... Overall im pretty pleased with the reception of it. Nobody has hated it. Well, lemme say nobody has come to me and told me they hated it. In fact most ppl just start listing their fav tracks. Even if folk did hate i could care less. Its amazing to me lol
The official release/listening party was GOD AWFUL! Lol im real enuff to admit not that many ppl came. And it was borderline lame. Lol ok it was lame. Everybody said they were coming and got a nigga all excited! But no.... Lol i still played the ep for the 10 ppl that came and the 6 or so other ppl there solely for the bar hahaha. Oh well. To be honest im glad its over. Its been a stressful process. That, and the industry release party 2 weeks ago. That was ok. Not lame. But still a lil dissapointing. Wanted more industry ppl there. In aayed the ep for the 10 ppl that came and the 6 or so other ppl there solely for the bar hahaha. Oh well. To be honest im glad its over. Its been a stressperfect world, the head of every label would have been there and i would have gotten a BAGILLION label offers instantly. But of course it didnt happen like that
Back to the grind.
School seems super irrelevant nowadays. I dont listen in class, i write lyrics during lectures, and i perform instead of doin hw at night. But i guess im here for a reason. Still cant quite figure it out.
Anyway, this phone blogging is weird, yet so technologically savy. I feel cool lol.
| 2:33 PM
Monday, April 13, 2009
Pop Bottles.... the EP is here. The Wait is over. My goal is 1,000 downloads this week. I can do it. It will be a challenge, but it shall be done. Im really excited about this project. Its my best yet, and even better is yet to come. I WANT FEEDBACK PEOPLE!http://www.mediafire.com/?2jywqtmzhy2
Oh yea... and for all you DJ's and producers.... the acapella CD is comin this week. REMIX, ANYBODY???
| 12:09 AM
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
So Fresh & So Clean - Outkast
I am a darn good artist. Lol this is not a conceited rant, its a revelation.
I know I have talent, I know I'm good, and I'm consistently growing as an artist, which is proof of my forever increasing potential. But as of lately, that "Im the sh**" feeling has been hitting me soooo hard. Im being serious. Once again, this is not a conceited rant. This is my personal revelation during my daily blog time haha.
With each new song I write, every time i listen to my EP, every new bit of advice I get from a new industry friend, each sold out show I perform, it just feels like its nearing me to closer to world tour, award shows, and
Lol and its a weird feeling. Like... I feel like I'm bout to blow.
Do i expect ANYBODY to understand me? No. BUT, i dont really care. Its been like this my whole life. I am an extremely passionate and focused person. It may sound advantageous in every way but it has so many disadvantages: Loss of friends, very limited personal time, bad grades LOL, and being misunderstood. I know this sort of refutes alot of what I said in a previous blog about me being humble... but thats what happens sometimes when you speak your mind. People write you off as crazy, cocky, weird, whatever.
God has given me a gift, and with this gift I have goals that I KNOW i will achieve. I have a vision in my head everyday, which is how I remain so focused. I see my future. Im just being honest. Every major accomplishment in my life, hell even the little ones, I have predicted. I always know. I never know how its gonna happen, but I know it will. And then, when its about to happen, I get the craziest feeling ever. "Wow... this is really happening." But all people see is the end result, like it came out of nowhere. Nooooo nigga... i told you it was gon happen
For example, I knew i was gonna get a full ride to college back in middle school... it finally came to fruition senior year, but it was no surprise
When I first toured at my college Belmont and learned about the showcases for student artists, I knew I was gonna win. I was a Junior in High School when i found out about it.... It came to fruition TWICE, once my freshman year of college when I won, and again this past year when I won again.
My whole life, Ive known i was gonna be huge, famous, rich, whatever. My whole life... literally. No lie. And everyday I get an even deeper feeling that it is about to come to fruition.
The thing is tho, i never know how its gonna happen. Im no psychic (as crazy as I sound...). Its like God gives me visions of what he wants me to accomplish, and everyday brings me closer to it in ways I dont even realize, until it happens. Then looking back, it all makes sense.
So now that feeling is stronger than every. And it gets stronger every time I bump myself on my iPod (and yes i DO listen to myself... say what you want). Every song I write is better than the last, and I make new fans and friends each show I do. So yes, I'm feeling myself EXTRA hard.
Hate if you want, Ima be big.
Labels: cocky, fame, humility
| 9:18 AM
Monday, April 6, 2009
I hate taking so long of a break between posts. But it always proves to be so ridiculously difficult to squeeze in some certified "blog-time" on saturday or sunday, and even some fridays. They are always so packed with shows, studio time, rehearsals, etc etc, but never the things "normal" people can do on weekends, like finishin up your HOMEWORK, or PARTYING, or THE MOVIES!! God, how i miss those weekend past times...
However, I never complain. It all serves towards the purpose of my ultimate goal, which is to make it in the music industry, make money, be popular, get groupies, fancy cars, and big chains from Jacob the Jeweler to signify my new socio-economic status lol. So in the meantime I never complain. I know my rewards will come in the long run. But every so often theres a sneak peek of my future success, and this weekend was one of those times
My band Biscuits and Gravy had 3 shows on Saturday alone, one at a Hip Hop block party at Vanderbilt University, another at USN high school, and the final opening up for platinum selling southern rap group Nappy Roots.
I dont particularly like opening up for bigger artist. They always leave and go back to their hotel room after the sound check. They usually are just too "above" holdin conversation with the niggaz that open up for them! and they never make it back in time to see me perform anyway. So initially I never gave any thought to the Nappy Roots show. I pretty much figured that I knew what to expect, and to not get my hopes up in anyway because i would get let down of i thought they were all cool as hell and would see us perform
Well... they didnt see us perform lol. They came to the green room backstage right after our set, drunk and weeded up. I just sat in the back listening to my ipod ready to go home. "Them niggaz cant do nothing for me anyway, they aint been big since they first album anyway." LOL I swear to yall that was my only thought at the time.
One of my band's managers' Bryce grew up in Bowling Green, KY with alot of the members of the group, so he asked them to give us some personal advice about making it in the industry. Big V started out talkin about how there are no friends in the industry, only business, even with smiling faces. Then Fishscales mentioned how he learned to never write without inspiration because that is when he is at his best, which gets harder when they have to make deadlines. Clutch talked about how he still feels young cuz everything happened so fast once they started getting popular, touring, etc etc. He said it felt like he never really got a chance to sit back and soak all of it in while it was happening, and its gone for now.
These niggaz was real as hell. I had a new found respect for all of em.
The band sat and listened attentively, responding to everything, laughing when appropriate. I dont know exactly what the rest of my band mates were thinking, but as for me it strengthened my longing to make it to the next level in the industry. give me my shot, I'm ready. And at the same time, what they said confirmed my fears about the shady ppl, strict business, fake nigga stigma in the industry. Its grimey. Thats the most accurate way to put it. But at the same time, my whole life I have been getting equipped for that.
We dapped, handshaked, and thanked them for the advice and revealing to us their lessons learned. We left the backstage room while they prepared to go out on stage, and we joined the audience as they awaited to see the group they paid their money for.
The DJ spun a few records, and then hyped up the crowd to prepare for their "grand entrance on stage." Then the show began....
I never get star struck, never have never will. Any "celebrity" is still human like me, and i dont believe in idolizing anything that has the same capabilities and limitations as myself. But omg seein them perform was so freakin surreal...not because they are my favorite group, not because im a huge nappy roots fan, not because i opened up for them; But I vividly remember sneaking in my room listening to "Aw Naw" on my radio back in 9th grade, printing out the lyrics, learning every word to "Po Folks", writing my own verses to the track, recording their songs onto tape to listen to it later. I had forgotten all about the effect Nappy Roots had on my early development as an artist. I didnt seriously start writing until 8th and 9th grade, around the time Nappy Roots first came out, and at that time their singles were some of my favorite songs at the time. The catchy hook, the different personalities of each lyricist, the differences in rhythmic pattern. I began to study that, I emulated their styles, slang, phrases, the fact they were themselves.... rappin country niggaz... nappy boys, nappy roots. Nothing fake about it
And when the DJ played the easily recognizable organ lick from "Aw Naw", i felt chills (no homo lol). I remembered the lame 13 year old Harold looking for his identity as an artist, soaking in everything from internet bios to radio singles. And one of the groups I used to emulate and learn so much from, was right there in front of me, performing a song i knew every single word too. I had just talked to them. Hell, I actually met them. Not one of them times listening to "Po' Folks" on my cd player walking thru the halls humming the chorus did I EVER think I would meet them, open up for them, have a heart to heart convo with them. I cant even adequately describe in this blog my emotional state on Saturday night.....
Moments like those are my encouragement and motivation to keep grinding, keep at it, keep working towards my goal. I got to meet them same niggaz I used to bump when I was younger; one of my middle school rap professors lol, i learned from them back then just from listening to the radio.... fast forward 7 years and im still learning from them, face to face this time
Lol i dont expect you to understand how I feel. Some personal things are just too hard to try and get other people to relate with, but i dont care. as far as im concerned, dont nobody read my blog, hahaha i blog for myself. All I know, it wont be long til everybody who knows me now gon say
Aw Naw, Hell Naw, man Future up and done it....Aw Naw Hell Naw - Nappy Roots
Labels: biscuits and gravy, nappy roots
| 9:05 AM
Friday, April 3, 2009
THE OFFICIAL RELEASE PARTY IS OFFICIAL!!!! APRIL 13th AT PEARL FUSION!!
Bring your iPod so you can get the EP! If you dont know by now, the EP will be FREE, so this will be the first night you can cop the highly anticipated new EP. 21 and up is FREEEEEE for admission. Under 21 is only $5. We gon party, have a good time, and get hype to the EP for the first time
If you cant wait, you can keep bumpin the snippets on my Myspace Page
Labels: the sci fly ep
| 9:52 AM