Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I love bloggin for the fact im able to be completely frank, honest, and blunt. I dont have to sugarcoat anything. In fact I wont. And as of lately Ive been blogging alot about my own life and myself, unlike the topics, people, news, and etc that I used to focus my posts on. Since I began blogging back in February, I have just found my niche in talking about my life. And thats what I think this blog best serves the purpose of, keeping people informed about my life. Who is reading and who actually cares? Idk. I dont care either tho. Cuz one day they will. One day ppl will be on google searching for all this personal crap about me and how I got to where I am, and they'll look in the archives of this blog and read all about it lol. This is for them. So the return of my blog recent blog posts begin with yet another update about ME.
1. Im flunking my intellectual property class. I expected this. But its just more shocking to read a bold red "SEE ME AFTER CLASS" note on my latest flunked test. Its a wake up call. Are my priorities out of order? Not really. No one can outline another person's priorities BUT that specific person. You cant look at me and say, "Harold, school is your number one priority." Do you live my life? Do you know my goals, dreams, daily thoughts, aspirations, motivation? Has God given showed you the vision for MY life? No. Highly unlikely. So its wrong to make assumptions. School is a priority i guess. But a very low one. Since I came to college I always knew I was using it for the opportunities. Ive been able to network, grow as an artist, gain fans, friends, etc from being at Belmont. But my remaining here depends on me attaining the grades to continue each semester. So THAT is the only reason why school is a priority. With that being said, I have to re-evaluate my time management near the last few weeks of classes to ensure that I can pass and not have to repeat this class, or even worse, lose my scholarship...AGAIN!!! AHHHH!!!
2. I gained weight. LOL but for real im like mad about this. I worked EXTRA hard to lose 60 lbs, and not even a year since I started gettin serious about my weight, I've already started gaining it back. Yesterday was the 1st time Ive been in the gym for sooooo long. I literally cannot remember. It was maybe Feb sometime. Idk. Its been a while. I slowly slipped back into my old eating habits back around Christmas and now its obvious. I have no doubt I can drop even more weight than I did the first time, I just have to get back in the right mindset. And I finally am. So consider this summer to be the re-transformation period lol. But still, its the most depressing feeling to be fat, then achieve your target weight, get compliments everywhere u go, start wearing clothes you could never fit, etc etc.... then all of a sudden start gaining it back. Its like a nightmare in slow motion lol. I refuse to get back to the weight where I was at previously so today is DAY TWO of the re-transformation period hahaha. The treadmill SHALL be ran again today lol.
3. I have no concrete summer plans. Summer is roughly 3 weeks away for me. And i havent the slightest idea what I will be doing from mid May to mid August. Thats a quite scary feeling. I DO NOT WANT A REGULAR SUMMER JOB!!! NOOOOOO. Im not going back to Target. I'm not even GONNA apply at all those stores in the mall again. Last summer was HELL! I worked for Terminix pest control doin door to door sales. CRAP. Finish Line shoe store. CRAP. (but i got a pretty good discount on kicks). Target wasn't as bad. But it was still not the ideal summer situation. Im not spoiled. Im just real. And the real honest truth is, I hate stupid jobs. I hate huge corporations and their thousands of meaningless stores/offices all over the world or maybe just the US, with their hundred thousands of employees, and virtually powerless mid level managers that run the stores/businesses. The process is repulsive to me. I dont wanna work my way up in the company. I just want money. I will learn nothing from you. This will not help me in anyway, unless you count learning to deal with my anger lol. I will not even mention you on my resume. I dont wanna be the employee of the month. No I dont want the extra hours. Dont call me when you need someone to fill in. I am NOT concerned with doing the best I can on the job. So in actuality, it is a waste of time. Yes its true i will get paid, but i am not willing to trade money for my happiness.
And dont for once think Im not a disciplined person and that i dont make sacrifices. Ive worked my butt off at pointless jobs since middle school. Im sick of it. Id be much happier at home making music. I have food stamps, I will survive. Just give me a room in my parents house, and i bet you at the end of the summer i will have a compilation of the sickest songs ive ever produced, written, and recorded. I no sound like a baby throwing a tantrum, but the truth is..... I AM. THIS IS A TANTRUM!! I HATE WORKING STUPID JOBS AND I WONT LET IT RUIN MY SUMMER! These random stupid summer jobs are like awful filler tracks on a potentially great album. My life is ALMOST great... but here comes this retarded cashier job messin it all up hahaha
ANYWAY, I need to get back to work. Hahaha yes thats right, Im typing this while Im at work. Now thats a real nigga for you. I dont hate this job, because its easy and I can actually do stuff other than work while Im here lol. But still, the fact remains.
These are just my random thoughts and the update on my life since I last posted a blog. Oh, the mixtape download have stalled around 500. So i only got half of my goal. I need a way to promote it more, another avenue. Any ideas??
And the Belmont University Best Of The Best competition is this Saturday. I am NOT ready yet. Mentally, Im PSYCHED! But the band doesnt know all the songs and our set is not fully complete. But its ok, Saturday at 7 o clock, when the lights go down, trust me, we'll be ready.
PEACE
Labels: belmont university, best of the best, employment
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