Wednesday, April 8, 2009
So Fresh & So Clean - Outkast
I am a darn good artist. Lol this is not a conceited rant, its a revelation.
I know I have talent, I know I'm good, and I'm consistently growing as an artist, which is proof of my forever increasing potential. But as of lately, that "Im the sh**" feeling has been hitting me soooo hard. Im being serious. Once again, this is not a conceited rant. This is my personal revelation during my daily blog time haha.
With each new song I write, every time i listen to my EP, every new bit of advice I get from a new industry friend, each sold out show I perform, it just feels like its nearing me to closer to world tour, award shows, and
Lol and its a weird feeling. Like... I feel like I'm bout to blow.
Do i expect ANYBODY to understand me? No. BUT, i dont really care. Its been like this my whole life. I am an extremely passionate and focused person. It may sound advantageous in every way but it has so many disadvantages: Loss of friends, very limited personal time, bad grades LOL, and being misunderstood. I know this sort of refutes alot of what I said in a previous blog about me being humble... but thats what happens sometimes when you speak your mind. People write you off as crazy, cocky, weird, whatever.
God has given me a gift, and with this gift I have goals that I KNOW i will achieve. I have a vision in my head everyday, which is how I remain so focused. I see my future. Im just being honest. Every major accomplishment in my life, hell even the little ones, I have predicted. I always know. I never know how its gonna happen, but I know it will. And then, when its about to happen, I get the craziest feeling ever. "Wow... this is really happening." But all people see is the end result, like it came out of nowhere. Nooooo nigga... i told you it was gon happen
For example, I knew i was gonna get a full ride to college back in middle school... it finally came to fruition senior year, but it was no surprise
When I first toured at my college Belmont and learned about the showcases for student artists, I knew I was gonna win. I was a Junior in High School when i found out about it.... It came to fruition TWICE, once my freshman year of college when I won, and again this past year when I won again.
My whole life, Ive known i was gonna be huge, famous, rich, whatever. My whole life... literally. No lie. And everyday I get an even deeper feeling that it is about to come to fruition.
The thing is tho, i never know how its gonna happen. Im no psychic (as crazy as I sound...). Its like God gives me visions of what he wants me to accomplish, and everyday brings me closer to it in ways I dont even realize, until it happens. Then looking back, it all makes sense.
So now that feeling is stronger than every. And it gets stronger every time I bump myself on my iPod (and yes i DO listen to myself... say what you want). Every song I write is better than the last, and I make new fans and friends each show I do. So yes, I'm feeling myself EXTRA hard.
Hate if you want, Ima be big.
PEACE
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