Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I'm bored at work, just contemplating, thinking, reminiscing, and listening to Akon lol. Often times I find myself thinkin back to high school or just back in the day even before middle school and analyzing how much I've changed, my friends, how I think, my goals etc. Its crazy.
The main thing I always come back to is how people grow apart... That still befuddles me (haha a nigga been tryna get up on his vocab). Anyway, Looking back, I've lost so many friends.... or "friends" i should say. Some people you expect that from. It may be a neighborhgood acquaintance you played with growing up but lost touch when you moved, or maybe a classroom buddy you used to hang out with in recess back in the day, but eventually lost touch when you move schools. But some friends you never expect to lose.
So why does that happen? For me, its a lot of my middle school and high school friends that I never thought I'd lost closeness with. These were people I opened up to, I helped them thru situations, and they did the same for me. We laughed together, experienced loss together, darn near cried together sometimes, got pissed off at each other, started beefin, then got cool again. Those types of friends. More like comrades. Yall made life bearable, enjoyable, and helped create some of my craziest memories.
SO WHAT HAPPENED??? I understand that some people are meant to be in our lives only for a season. I believe that God specifically places people in our lives at a given time to help us mature, help us through a trying time or stressful period in life, test our patience to build character, etc etc. But I cant help but to think was there anything I could have done to remain close to that person? Or was it really just not meant to last? Did they contribute to us not having a lasting friendship?
I admit, sometimes I contribute to the ultimate demise of a friendship. I particularly suck at communication, keeping in touch, checkin in with somebody, an occasional call, text, email, facebook message, whatever. HOWEVER, some of yall suck at it too. And distance from a friend will either make you realize how much you miss that person, or make u realize how easily you can forget about that person. And its the latter that gets to me. How could someone I was so close with be so easily forgotten or how could they forget about me so easily?
Another thing I must take into account is college. College changes EVERYBODY. Like for real. College shapes people more into how they will be as adults. For me college was more than maturity, It was an opportunity, another phase in my life, the next level. And it just seems like I outgrew some of those old friendships back before this new phase of life at this new level of maturity. We grew differently and no longer related like we used to.... Maybe it was meant to be, but that doesn't mean that I dont regret losing touch with certain people sometimes
With all that being said, I wouldn't change anything in my life becaue everything happens for a reason. And I'm more than grateful for the friends in my life now. There are just some people I wish I still had the type of relationship to simply call, reminisce, and catch up....
Anyway this long sensitive blog post is for all my former "friends" who Ive lost touch with. This is dedicated to yall. And you know who you are. I'm not gon name people specifically but you know who you are. Yall was my fav people back in the day; and I cant help but look back on our memories occasionally and wonder what happened.
To anybody reading this, cherish your friends now and never take them for granted. And even if you begin to lose touch with them as you both mature and grow apart in life, theres nothing wrong with a phone call or email just to let em know their on your mind.
To all my high school niggaz, middle school homies, church partnaz, etc etc I still got love for yall even tho we dont talk no more.
PEACE
Labels: friends, high school, reminisce
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